This is a continuation of part 1.
I planned on staying separate from my husband. Even though I decided to divorce him, I couldn’t gather courage to file papers. So I waited for good one and half year to file divorce. Meanwhile I kept working on myself to peel back the layers of my ego and ascend as much as I could. I decided to take up a job in IT but I couldn’t find any. I decided to take help from an astrologer again. I asked him why am I not getting any job. He said job is over. Start writing, do consultations, you will fit better in advisory jobs. I told him, I m going through an awakening process and I myself need consultation from somebody. So how can I give consultation to people and on what? It never struck me to make you tube videos and use my Kundalini energy to heal people. This astrologer had no idea I had Kundalini awakening. I told him about it and he said its just more energy. I told him I’m getting signs to go back to my husband. He said you will make one more mistake again if you do that. I believed him again since my knowledge about Kundalini energy was limited. When I had awakening, I didn’t search much on Kundalini. I saw few you tube videos and learnt that it’s an energy that unblocks your chakras and heals you. You become more energetic and self sufficient. However, I did read more about laws of karma. How karma works! What is the principal of cause and effect? I also learnt that Kundalini is the food for spiritual body. So one must practice spiritual activities like yoga and meditation to channelize the energy in the right way. I went to meditation center and practiced meditation in groups. But I didn’t feel any difference. I wanted someone who could teach me one on one meditation. So after couple of months my energy changed. And I forgot everything. I decided to work again. On the other side I had developed immense interest in spirituality, so I kept reading spiritual books to enhance my knowledge.
The point I’m trying to make here is that I took my awakening process lightly. Instead of working on it religiously and learning kriyas to balance my divine feminine energy I emphasized more on getting a job and keeping myself busy. I worked there for 6 months until it hit me that I can’t keep doing this forever. I do regret for playing so small. It jeopardized my entire ascension process. Instead of going up I went down. Even though I was reading spiritual books and listening to spiritual content on YouTube, I didn’t really apply where I was asked to. I was asked to apply it in my relationship with my husband and take it to next level. Instead I quit my marriage. My spirit guides were constantly nudging me asking me to shed my ego and go and give unconditional love to him. But I couldn’t make sense of it and took it to the extent of giving divorce. I wasted my Kundalini energy by hanging out with friends and living in this illusion that now I will find my soulmate as astrologers told me. But that was a total crap! 3 years later, it turned out that my husband is my twin flame and my soul has chosen to evolve with him in this life time. Had I taken the leap of faith right after my awakening, we would have had a baby by now. I regret it till date. We are still separated. I tried approaching him but there was no positive response from his side. But I have faith in God. Marriage is a destiny, and I’m certain that we will reunite soon.
Please don’t make such mistakes. You will cry later for not listening to your intuition/guidance. The guilt is so strong that it will be really hard to get over it. So, if your are reading this, you are definitely going through it. So, please follow your guidance even if it appears illogical. It’s a divine grace, accept it gracefully. Know that you have been chosen by God to serve humanity. You are being called to help and heal other people with your light. So awaken yourself, raise your vibration, share your knowledge and wisdom with others and awaken others as well. Shower unconditional love for Love is the only answer!
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